Thursday, November 25, 2010

Nano time again

What is this crap?” said a red, shaking Jessa Marko. “Have you all lost your minds? Our system has worked for four centuries. You're attempting to convert what is usually little more than a ceremonial one-year position into a five year presidency! This is a bizarre, backwards coup d'etat and it's completely unacceptable!”

Jessa...” began Anderson.

I have the floor, Councilman!” boomed Marko. “And if you want to play this idiotic game you will address me as 'Captain.' Actually, I hereby decree that henceforth you will address me as 'Supreme Leader.'”

Point of order, Supreme Leader,” said Anderson.

The fool from Stellar Astrophysics is recognized,” said Marko.

Anderson composed himself and wondered why he had become spokesman for the revolutionary forces.

First,” said Anderson, “this is a matter to be voted upon by the Council over which you preside. You have no power of veto. Second, we have not attempted to remove the right of the Captain of the Drake to resign, with or without giving reason to the Council and crew.”

So you mean this motion is already passed, you're then going to put it to a ship-wide plebiscite, and if for some unfathomable reason the crew decide they want me to remain as Captain it's going to be impossible for me to decline?” Marko was still visibly fuming.

Actually, no,” said Anderson evenly. “If you are sure that you do not wish to see this motion passed, then its existence will never leave this room. In fact one reason we wrote this motion on a piece of paper is that there need not be any trace of it if you are adamant that you do not wish to continue sitting in the big chair.”

So if I say 'no way on Earth or in orbit' you're going to set fire to it?”

No,” said Anderson. “I'm going to eat it.”

Marko had the sinking feeling that she was becoming slightly less furious.

Captain, all we are really asking is that this proposal be put before the voting population of the Drake. We will not campaign for it beyond including the preamble that you see in front of you.”

Marko sighed. “All those in favor of the motion please say 'dildo.' Thank you. Have the record show that the motion was passed by nineteen to zero with one abstention.”


Monday, November 8, 2010